Counting Down: The Top 7 NBA Criminals

As reported on ESPN, Derrick Rose has recently been charged with reckless driving, as he was clocked going 40mph over the legal speed limit.

Tipping the hat to another Bulls draft pick of yesteryear, Jay Williams, Rose’s ridiculous behaviour didn’t surprise me. Not in the slightest.

Shawn Kemp: Training for The Euroleague

If you think of the NBA as a collection of around 400 guys, and think about the average crimes, misdemeanours and felonies they commit every season and each off season, it’s disproportionately higher than the societal norm.

Reminiscing over all of the charges laid against your Tinsleys, Melos, Lebrons, Kobes, Barkleys, Roses and Artests over the past few years got The Sport Count thinking. Who are the Top 7 NBA Criminals?

Shawn Kemp | Possession of Narcotics and Firearms | Power Forward

You know you’ve been in trouble when your Wikipedia page features ‘Legal Problems’ as a subheader.

The Reign Man was a consistent rebound, dunk and point machine throughout the course of his NBA career, but he also brought the heat off court with some great crimes. In fact, Kemp was the first man in NBA history to average a career quad double: points per game, child support endowments, comeback attempts and criminal offenses.

In 2005, the Reign Man was arrested for possessing 60 grams of coke and a semi-automatic pistol - which sounds like an amazing party if you’re somewhere in rural Bulgaria.

(To be honest, Kemp isn’t much of a crim, but his fall from grace has been so marked that we’ve included him. And because TSC editor and noted Kemp freak Alex Vitlin will vehemently post a defense imminently).

Isaiah Rider | Kidnapping, Assault, Grand Theft Auto | Small Forward

East bay funk dunker, over the shoulder three-pointer; Isaiah Rider is better known nowadays for being a criminal of the worst variety, and one of the baddest eggs to the play the game in recent times.

There isn’t even a need to embelish these - so I’m just going to list them.

Kidnapping, domestic violence, violating an Apprehended Violence Order, hit and run, resisting arrest, felony possession of cocaine, unlawful firearm possession, possession of a controlled narcotics substance, providing false information to a police officer, driving on a suspended license and, drum roll please, Grand Theft Auto.

Who are the next five?

Ruben Patterson | Sexual Assault, Domestic Abuse | Small Forward

Before people try to pigeonhole NBA players as gangbangers and petty thugs they ought to take a look at Ruben Patterson’s rap sheet. Because this man, ladies and gentlemen, is a bona fide sex offender.

In over 20 states in the USA, Patterson needs to register himself. That’s a pretty big inconvenience for a guy who has been traded approximately 24 times in his NBA career, and is likely to see a couple more destinations.

In 2000 Patterson plead guilty to attempting to rape his child’s nanny — and he boasts a bevy of other assault and booze related charges to boot.

Bad man, bad player. Please don’t sign him, GMs.

Qyntel Woods | Cruetly Against Animals, Drug Use | Small Forward

Long before Michael Vick became the face of illegal dog fighting, Qyntel Woods was The Man.

Woods’ first run in with old man law came about when, as a member of the Trailblazers, he pitted (no pun intended) his champion hounds ‘Hollywood’ and ‘Sugar’ against Oregon’s best fighting dogs. Turns out, far from being a fun activity, this is actually illegal, and Woods was lucky to get away with some community service and a fine.

Woods’ indiscretions didn’t stop there: with a bevy of DUI and drug-related charges following him all the way to the Greek and Italian leagues, Woods finest moment came in his rookie year when he was pulled over by the police and, unable to produce his drivers license, pulled his rookie card out as identification. Wow.

Jason Kidd | Domestic Abuse | Point Guard

Bashed his wife, multiple times. What an arsehole.

Want some dimes with that?

Eddie Griffin | DUI, Drug Possession, Assault | Power Forward

Eddie Griffin holds the distinction of being the only person i’ve controlled in a video game who has died. Thus, I’m a little bit sad and ashamed to write about this as a triviality… but sad and ashamed don’t equal blog views, so here we go.

Eddie Griffin was a high school stud — a much-heralded prospect who was mooted for a career of NBA superstardom — who never get off the ground thanks to drugs and booze; a cautionary tale of the highest order. Before his untimely death however, he did give us one of the greatest arrests of all time; NBA or otherwise.

Griffin was in his luxury SUV, masturbating to porn on his dashboard DVD player, driving at high speeds when he crashed into another driver. This is a true story.

Allen Iverson | Assault, Drug Possession, Weapons Possession | Point Guard

The only MVP on the list, and interestingly, the most serious offender according to the letter of the law. Many of Iverson’s discretions have been well documented over his 12 year career; flipping gang signs at cameras, uniform offenses and tech fouls. But the real crimes occurred off court.

As a high school kid, Iverson was convicted on a felony maiming charge, and sentenced to 15 years in prison, only to be pardoned by the Governor of Virginia (the reason? He was really good at sport). Iverson did, however, spend 4 months in prison. That’s prison, sons. Prison.

By most accounts, the incident was a race-based beef between a group of black and white kids, which started with a member of the other crew dropping the N-Bomb in AI’s general direction. Clearly, racial slurs aren’t The Answer.

Posted By: James